1. |
I Ate Ronald Reagan
01:59
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Out late last night, I was on the prowl
I started getting hungry, my stomach started to growl
Then who should I see?
Staring back at me
Ex-President of the United States
I ate Ronald Reagan
I ate Ronald Reagan last December
I ate Ronald Reagan
I ate Ronald Reagan but he didn’t remember
He invited me in, then he left me alone
He must have forgotten, I was in his home
Then who should I see?
Staring back at me Ex-First Lady of the United States
I snuck into his library when he wasn’t looking
I stabbed him in the back then I started cooking
His muscles were frail, his body was stale
But that’s alright with me
I just ate the V.I.P.
I ate Nancy Reagan
I ate Nancy Reagan last December
I ate Nancy Reagan
I ate Nancy Reagan but she doesn’t have Alzheimer’s
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2. |
I Ate Kody Smith
02:50
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3. |
I Ate Jenna
01:41
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Jenna I don’t know your last name
Jenna I only know your first name
You know I'd really like to meet you
And that I would like to eat you
Oh Jenna (Jenna) you’re the girl for me
I saw you at the gym getting thinner
So I invited you over for dinner
You thought we were eating barbecue
But I knew that I was eating you
Oh Jenna [Jenna] you’re just so naïve
I only saw you one more time
You haven’t even been on my mind
I was sad I ate you but
I am glad you’re in my gut
Oh Jenna (Jenna) you’re a tasty treat
Oh Jenna you’re the girl for me
Oh Jenna you’re just so naïve
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4. |
I Ate the Kids (Harry)
01:51
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Oh the kids were so cruel to him
Defenseless Harry could do nothing
He sought revenge but didn't know how
Until now
Oh no!
Harry's hungry
Oh no!
Harry needs to eat
You'd better run
Or he will eat you
You'd better hide
Cause he's coming for you now
Oh how he plotted to exact his pain
The children's torment drove him insane
So he sharpened his teeth and dug right it
And that was all
Oh no!
Harry's hungry
Oh no!
Harry needs to eat
You'd better run
Or he will eat you
You'd better hide
Cause he's coming for you now
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5. |
I Ate a Bulimic
02:38
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2 am last night I had nothing to do
I thought I’d go out cruising and try to find some food
So I called my friend Kate, said I’d be there in 8
But when I showed up things weren’t too [great]
I ate a bulimic and she tasted vile
Her breath made me puke but her smell made me smile
I only chewed on her for a while
She laid on the floor as she died of starvation
And I started to get a hungry sensation
I knew I could save her but why should I try
So I got out my knife and said my good [byes]
I ate a bulimic and she tasted vile
Her breath made me puke but her smell made me smile
I only chewed on her for a while
No meat on her bones
No food in her home
I ate a bulimic and she tasted vile
Her breath made me puke but her smell made me smile
I only chewed on her for a while (x2)
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6. |
Lindsay Lohan
02:08
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I contemplated suicide
When I missed you on TV that night
You were on TRL
Now I’m in a private hell
You were sharp and you were clean
When I saw you on the movie screen
And I know you didn’t want to hurt us
But you starred with Jamie Lee Curtis
Lindsay
Make a movie with me
It’ll have a kissing scene
It would be my dream
I tried to write you Valentines
I tried so hard so many times
And you know it made me wanna scream
When you kissed that guy in that scene
And I really thought that you were smarter
So why’d you date Aaron Carter?
Just end your feud with Hilary
And both of you go out with me
Lindsay
Make a movie with me
It’ll have a kissing scene
It would be my dream (x3)
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7. |
Alexa Vega
02:48
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I’ll think of ways to impress you
You are sexy Mexican in Spy Kids 2
I’ll take you out for taco or gordita
Si eres una chica bonita
Alexa! Vega! (x2)
Get in El Camino and we’ll take a ride
We’ll go down to Taco Bell on Rodeo Drive
She don’t have a green card but I won’t report her
As long as she takes me south of her border
Alexa! Vega! (x2)
I know she’s not Spanish
But I still like to see her
Because she is so hot
She gives me Spanish fever
Alexa! Vega! (x2)
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8. |
Amanda Bynes
01:48
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Now I won’t be a liar
It’s not your heart I desire
You’re so hot you’re on fire
But it’s your ass I admire
Amanda Bynes!
I want to fuck you in the behind
Amanda Bynes!
I want to fuck you where the sun don’t shine
Now I’ll give it to you straight
I look at you when I masturbate
I know it’s Al Roker that you hate
But if you two fucked it would be great
I know that this will never come to pass
But I can still dream of your sweet ass
Amanda who?
Amanda Bynes!
Amanda who?
Amanda Bynes!
Amanda Bynes!
I want to fuck you in the behind
Amanda Bynes!
I want to fuck you where the sun don’t shine (x2)
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9. |
Olsen Twins
02:14
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I loved you in Winning London and Holiday in the Sun
Why don’t you two come over? And have a little fun
You two are the bomb, you’re a pretty sight
I’ll invite you over, and we’ll fill my house tonight
The cops they call it abduction
But I just think its seduction
Ashley and Mary-Kate
You make me want to masturbate!
Mary-Kate and Ashley
Let’s go do the nasty!
I don’t care which is which, you are two of a kind
You both are so good, you blow more than my mind
I don’t need no love, don’t need no affection
But baby it takes two, To give me an erection
Sex with you is on my day planner
So stay away from Dan Tanner
Ashley and Mary-Kate
You make me want to masturbate!
Mary-Kate and Ashley
Let’s go do the nasty!
Now that you’re out of rehab, I bet you’d like a toke
Why don’t you come over, and suck my dick for coke?
[original version: Now that you're both 16, I bet you drive a lot
Can I please park my car, in your parking lot?]
Ashley and Mary-Kate
You make me want to masturbate!
Mary-Kate and Ashley
Let’s go do the nasty!
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10. |
Hilary Duff
04:11
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You are the sunshine that lights up my day
Make all my sorrows go away
Your smile knocks me right to the floor
Always keeps me looking for more
And your laugh’s the cutest around
What I’d give just to hear that sound
I’d give the world
I wish you could see
You are the only girl for me
Babe you’ve got all the right stuff
Hilary Duff
When I can’t see you it makes me sad
Think of the things that I wish that I had
It tears out my heart seeing you on T.V.
Kissing Gordo instead of me
Got your picture on my wall
Hoping that you just might fall
In love with me
I wish you could see
You are the only girl for me
Babe you’ve got all the right stuff
Hilary Duff
(break-down)
I heard your worth millions of bucks
Too bad your personality sucks
Is it a sin if I do enquire
May I wack off watching Lizzie McGwire?
You’re probably just a spoiled brat
But at least you’re not ugly and fat
In fact you’re hot
I wish you could see
You are the only girl for me
Babe I will give it to you rough
Hilary Duff
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11. |
I'm a Carnivore
01:17
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I like to eat chicken
I like to eat beef
Sink into a juicy steak
With my pearly white teeth
I’m a carnivore
I’m a carnivore
That's for sure
I’m a carnivore
Oh fuck you
Health food store
I don’t wanna eat your soy
Eating fluffy mammals is what I enjoy
I’m a carnivore
I’m a carnivore
That's for sure
I’m a carnivore
Turkey beef and veal
At every meal
Chicken pork and fish
With every dish
I’m a carnivore
I’m a carnivore
That's for sure
I’m a carnivore (x2)
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12. |
Hamburgers
02:04
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Fuck George Forman, I like ‘em greasy
20 parts lean 80 parts beefy
Mad cow disease I don’t give a shit
15 years and I still live with it
Oh Mr. Cow (Mr. Cow!)
I like you ground up on a bun
Oh Mr. Cow (Mr. Cow!)
You taste better with A1
Hamburgers morning noon and night
Hamburgers what a tasty delight
Hamburgers patty full of flavor
Hamburgers the taste that I savor
Fuck veggie burgers and vegetarians
I get my food from veterinarians
Gotta feed the cows well before they kill them
Slaughter and pack them and then you grill em
Oh Mr. Cow (Mr. Cow!)
I like you ground up on a bun
Oh Mr. Cow (Mr. Cow!)
You taste better with A1
I don’t watch my calories
I don’t count my carbs
I don’t overcook cause I’m not a retard
Oh Mr. Cow (Mr. Cow!)
I like you ground up on a bun
Oh Mr. Cow (Mr. Cow!)
You taste better with A1
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13. |
Paint Chips
02:32
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Sitting in my room the paint is chipping off the wall
Every time I look I see another piece fall
I don’t have any money and there is no food in sight
I guess I won’t be eating any Chinese food tonight
I eat paint chips I like how they crunch
I eat paint chips for breakfast and lunch
I eat paint chips bursting with flavor
Eat some now save some for later
My friends call me a mutant when they see my tongue is green
They all say it’s the funniest thing they’ve ever seen
I just say “that’s ignorant” and keep on doing what I do
But I’ll be the one laughing last when I make my tongue turn blue
I eat paint chips I like how they crunch
I eat paint chips for breakfast and lunch
I eat paint chips bursting with flavor
Eat some now save some for later
My brain is always sore and I don’t even know why
I cant tell where or when things went awry
I know I can’t stop shaking no matter what I do
I guess now is the time for me to start eating glue
I eat paint chips I like how they crunch
I eat paint chips for breakfast and lunch
I eat paint chips bursting with flavor
Eat some now...
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14. |
Ramen Noodles
02:03
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I like ramen noodles cause they’re a tasty treat
I like ramen noodles cause they’re so fun to eat
I like ramen noodles I like them in a cup
I like ramen noodles cause they help fill me up
Ramen noodles they’re my favorite food (x2)
I like ramen noodles in a bowl or can
I like ramen noodles I like them made with ham
I like ramen noodles I like them all the time
I like ramen noodles cause they’re always on my mind
Ramen noodles they’re my favorite food (x2)
I don’t need no soup or stew
Ramen noodles: the best food
I don’t need a Foreman grill
These noodles keep me filled
Ramen noodles they’re my favorite food, etc
|
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15. |
Food Pyramid Rock
02:37
|
|||
Listen up I’ll tell you the deal
You gotta eat a heart healthy meal (oh yeah, heart healthy meal)
Follow my plan and you will see
The best ways to eat healthy (oh yeah)
The food pyramid rock!
6 to 11 servings a day
You gotta eat your bread the right way (yeah)
Now on to fruits and greens
You gotta make it a daily routine (oh yeah, 2 to 5 a day)
Eat your tomatoes and eat your grapes
That’ll get your heart in shape (oh yeah)
The food pyramid rock
Hold on a minute we’re not quite done
There’s 3 more groups of heart healthy fun (oh yeah)
Eat a cow and drink its milk
It’ll keep your bones well built (oh yeah, bones well built)
You gotta eat 2 servings of dairy
So you’re not real thin and scary (like me)
The food pyramid rock
There’s only one more part
The yummy stuff that clogs up your heart (oh yeah)
Don’t go eating sweets all the time
You’ll get fatter than J-Lo’s behind (oh yeah, and you don’t want that)
Avoid candy and you will seeYou’re life will be long and lovely (oh yeah)
The food pyramid rock
Follow my guide and you will see
The best ways to eat healthy (oh yeah)
The food pyramid rock!
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16. |
||||
I wanna go to outer space (x2)
I could float around with a smile on my face
And no one would even care at all
I wanna take a rocket to the sun (x2)
I would get a tan and it would be real fun
And no one would ever care at all
Don’t you think that it’d be great
If we wouldn’t suffocate outside the atmosphere?
There’s nothing bad about space
It’s the most exciting place outside the Southern Tier
I wanna ride a shooting star (x2)
I would hold on tight and we would go real far
And no one would even care at all
I wanna venture to the moon
It wouldn’t take too long and I would get there soon
And no one would even care at all
Don’t you think that it’d be great
If we wouldn’t suffocate outside the atmosphere?
There’s nothing bad about space
It’s the most exciting place outside the Southern Tier
I wanna be an astronaut
That’s the job for me
I wanna be an astronaut
That’s what I wanna be
|
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17. |
||||
I wanna break the plaster on the wall
I wanna make all the nick-knack's fall
I wanna shake the house's foundation
And give your stomach a very jumpy sensation
I Want An Electric Guitar (x4)
I wanna piss all the neighbors off
(And scream so loud) And give myself a really bad cough
I wanna make the woofer blow
But I know my mom will just say no
I Want An Electric Guitar (x8)
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18. |
I Want to be a Rapper
01:57
|
|||
Rockin’ your socks it’s a brand new song
And you don’t know the words so you can’t sing along
And its better than SPAStix...
Droppin rhymes and your jaw and makin’ you transfixed
On every single fuckin’ word we say
We've got somethin’ for everyone like a buffet
We got the rhymes that you love to savor
Pimp D with the style (Heavy Nuts with the flavor)
You’re like Wendy’s we’re a meal with 5 courses
We be fuckin’ pretty women you be fuckin horses
AAHHHH is more deadly than Jack the Ripper
If I wanted lip from you I would scrape it off my zipper
My rhymes are so sweet just like Jelly
And no one would even care at all
I’ll piss on you like my name was R. Kelly
You got no style and your talent is fictitious
You best think twice before you fuck with Pimp Delicious
I wanna be a rapper
Take you to a restaurant
I wanna be a rapper
Give you everything you want
I wanna be a rapper
Take you to the grocery sto’
Make you my number one ho
Whitey Vibe got beef but he still wants steak
And he wants to be black and its more than I can take
We won the war but we want a treaty
Griff asks Whitey Vibe “please don’t eat me?”
50 Cent’s spare change, Eminem went stale
Murda Inc. got convicted and went to jail
Snoop dropped the drugs and went clean
Now its E.H.P. blowin’ up the scene
I don’t spit bullshit ‘cause my name’s not Truth
I’m not scared of the “big fuckin’ spider” in the booth
I’ll take out my gun and make you think you’re getting slaughtered
I’ll make you shit your pants worse than Mexican water
I’ll break both your legs then beat you with your crutches
I get high on crack rocks, you choke on dutches
We’re never gonna lose and we’re always gonna win
What can go wrong with Heavy Nuts on your chin?
I wanna be a rapper
Take you to a restaurant
I wanna be a rapper
Give you everything you want
I wanna be a rapper
Take you to the grocery sto’
Make you my number one ho
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19. |
I Want to be a Pimp
02:47
|
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I wanna be a pimp cause I wanna be cool
Don’t wanna be anybody’s fool
I wanna drive around in my Cadillac
I wanna learn how to bitch slap
The corner is yours now
So Get on all fours now
Cause you have to get laid
He’s being a jerk now
But this is your work now
If you want to get paid
I wanna be a pimp with alot of hos
I wanna have a cane and wear fluorescent clothes
I wanna be a pimp but I don’t wanna be sleazy
‘Cause everyone knows that pimpin’ ain’t easy
You’re being abused now
But at least I’m amused now
Your face is black and blue
Your life is a joke now
Fucking for coke now
Whatever shall you do?
I wanna be a pimp cause I wanna be rich
I wanna make every woman my bitch
I wanna be a pimp cause I don’t wanna suck
I wanna own women who get paid to fuck
The corner is yours now
So Get on all fours now
Cause you have to get laid
He’s being a jerk now
But this is your work now
If you want to get paid
You’re being abused now
But at least I’m amused now
Your face is black and blue
Your life is a joke now
Fucking for coke now
Whatever shall you do?
|
||||
20. |
I Want Hillary Clinton
02:42
|
|||
You came to us in our time of need
We knew you had what it takes to succeed
You came to fight the evil Republican scum
Embodied in Rick Lazio
From Binghamton to Buffalo
You helped us flourish and made us grow
And we just want you to know...
Hillary!
The sexy senator from New York State
When you moved here how could we say no?
‘Cause you’re like an angel without a halo
You won’t run for President of the United States
Cause you think New York is super great
From Albany to Watertown
You turned our frowns upside down
And we just we just want you to know
Hillary!
The sexy senator from New York State
I saw you at the DNC
I was staring at you. you stole a look at me
I know you’re busy on Capitol Hill
But together me and you can veto Bill
Hillary!
The sexy senator from New York State
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